7

I wasn’t always a good girl that sat in the home all day long messing around on the computer. I had a rebellious phase, as teenage girls tend to have around enough time they hit eighteen and think they’re grown.

By that time I have been taken off high school twice. Initially wasn’t my fault: I was being bullied – rumors being spread about me that everyone, even my parents thought were true – and things got out of hand. The fallout from my parents having to pull me out of school initially caused them to get a divorce. That wasn’t my fault, as their marriage have been strained for a long time at that point. Still, it had been difficult not to appreciate that I was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

The second time, I was expelled – and I certainly had deserved to be – I went only a little wild. Maybe I was acting out. I had been coping with my mom after she split from dad and she didn’t have what it took to discipline me. She was the sort of woman who could never operate for herself. I’m like her in lots of ways.

I was drinking and smoking a lot. I spent most of the year skipping class and getting either high or נערות ליווי ברמת גן drunk with friends. Within a couple of months, the rumors from my old school followed me.

It is a strange feeling whenever you know something isn’t true but you imagine it anyway. Especially when it’s something about yourself. Maybe I was just fed up with trying to guard myself, or I was bitter. I don’t know. If everyone thought I was a brainless slut who’d let anyone use her, I may as well just surrender and be that girl. It made much more sense at the time, somehow.

The disappearing started then. My mom wouldn’t see me for days at a time while I hung out and got blackout drunk with college boys or נערות ליווי ברמת גן older men. She couldn’t stop me. Legally, נערות ליווי ברמת גן I was an adult. What could she do? Eventually, after missing months of class, נערות ליווי ברמת גן I was expelled. At her wit’s end, my mother decided that I couldn’t deal with her anymore and that I would need to go stick to my dad instead.

My father was an alternative animal entirely.

He and my mother had gotten together when they were in high school. She was pregnant when they graduated and, to his credit, he stayed with her and provided the best life he could afford. That wasn’t to state he was happy about it.

He was a bitter man. Deep down, I believe he resented both my mother and I. I’d always hated the way he looked at me. He made me uncomfortable, which is why I wasn’t so torn up about the divorce in the initial place. Moving back with him was just another shitty episode in my experience so, during the time, I didn’t care.